In Which We Use All Three Rows of the 2024 Jeep Wagoneer
If you’re trying to guess someone’s age, ask them if they’ve ever ridden in the front middle seat of a crew-cab pickup. Or maybe the back package tray of a classic Lincoln. I once even went up a mountain in a pickup bed, sitting on a pile of snow with five other nine-year-olds. Thankfully, those methods of transporting children are frowned upon these days. So, when I became the designated driver to get five family members and my neighbor’s kid to the annual corgi races at Santa Anita Park, I couldn’t just cram them all in the back of a Trans Am, telling them to roll down the window if the cigarette smoke got too thick.
Station wagons aren’t roomy enough, and minivans? Well, they’re just not chic. Instead, today’s kids need high-riding luxury. I did my best to impress by meeting my sister, niece, and nephew at the airport in a diamond black crystal 2024 Jeep Wagoneer Series II Carbide 4×4. Overkill for three people with carry-on bags? Certainly, but it was worth it for the intimidation factor to other cars at the pickup lane, and the gleeful response of my niece and nephew to the TV screens in the back seats—even though we hadn’t connected them to anything, so they couldn’t be used. It was the possibility that impressed.
Our first day in the Wagoneer was mostly positive. My sister liked the cushy front seat with its heat and vent options. My nephew liked the middle row with separate climate controls—at least once we figured out which way to toggle the buttons that did both heat and cooling duty depending on the setting. The kids managed to set the back heat in the 90s, which promptly knocked them both into naps from which they woke up sweaty and cranky. Luckily, we were at our breakfast spot, so they were able to get out and cool off while I managed to dock the Wagoneer, although it was a close call for getting out, nearly needing tugboats.
Since we got blocked in by a Mini Cooper, we made use of every angle on the Wagoneer’s backup and surround cameras. If parking and maneuvering cause anxiety, the Wagoneer is not your solution. It takes up a parking spot, line to line, and hangs out the end.
On our second day, we loaded up the kids, sister, my husband, and our neighbor’s teen and sailed the jumbo Jeep across the city without any complaints from my motion-sickness-prone family. Everyone had more than enough room, and our picnic supplies—which might have carried a whole wagon train across the west—fit easily in the cargo space behind the third row. The Jeep’s turbo six-cylinder provided more than sufficient power for the carpool lane. While the estimated 16 mpg city and 23 mpg highway fuel economy for the all-wheel-drive model isn’t spectacular, it worked out fine for the weekend. The tank’s so big, we never had to stop for fuel.
Our destination was the Santa Anita Park in Arcadia, California. Santa Anita has been a horse-racing track since the 1930s and still runs thoroughbreds now. However, we were there to see a different kind of athlete. Santa Anita hosts the official corgi races, with hundreds of the fluffiest butts running full speed on the infield. Since corgis are my niece’s favorite dog, there was no chance she was going to miss the event; thus, the family flight down from Northern California and the VIP transport in the Wagoneer.
We prepared for the races the night before by hand-drawing 14 copies of Corgi Bingo (squares included such sightings as “Corgi in a hat” and “Pet a Corgi”). We also packed blankets, coolers, and, as mentioned, an overabundance of snacks.
We nabbed a close (and thankfully large) parking spot, set up our blankets, and spent the day cheering for corgis, petting corgis, asking corgis their names, and sharing and filling out our bingo sheets. After a thorough check of all children for stolen and smuggled corgi puppies, we loaded back up and headed home. Once again, the Wagoneer was a winner, this time for its dual phone connectivity, which let my neighbor’s kid play her music—leading to a back-seat argument with my nephew over who is overrated, Kendrick Lamar or Billie Eilish—while I still kept navigation on from my phone.
At $86,955 (as tested), the Wagoneer has a big price to go with its big interior, but the kids declared it a winner for its back-seat comfort, impressive technology, and “per seat” price. “It seats seven, right?” said the neighbor’s kid. “So that’s only $12,000 per seat. That dumb Porsche you had [ahem, the Spyder RS] only sat two, and it cost $210,000.” Well, with that logic, the Wagoneer is a deal, and it would certainly fit a lot of corgis in it.
