If you want to get an idea of someone’s age, ask them if they ever rode in the front middle seat of a crew-cab pickup or bounced around in the back cargo area of a ’60s Lincoln. I myself once ascended a mountain in a pickup bed, perched on a pile of snow with five other nine-year-olds. Needless to say, those days of transporting children are long gone. So, when I volunteered as the designated driver to transport five family members and my next-door neighbor’s kid to the yearly corgi races at Santa Anita Park, I knew I couldn’t just cram everyone into the back of a Trans Am and tell them to crack the window open if the cigarette smoke got too thick.
Station wagons are not spacious enough, and minivans lack chic. Nope, today’s children require high-riding luxury. I did my best to impress by meeting my sister, niece, and nephew at the airport in a diamond black crystal 2024 Jeep Wagoneer Series II Carbide 4×4. Overkill for three people with carry-on bags? Absolutely, but it was worth it for the intimidation factor it created with other cars in the pickup lane and the ecstatic reaction of my niece and nephew to the back-seat TV screens—even though we hadn’t connected them to anything, rendering them useless. It was the possibility that impressed.
Our first day in the Wagoneer was mostly positive. My sister loved the cushy front seat with its heat and vent options. My nephew appreciated the middle row with separate climate controls—at least once we figured out which way to toggle the buttons, which do double duty, handling both heat and cooling responsibilities depending on the setting. The kids managed to crank the back heat up to the 90s, which promptly knocked them both into naps, from which they awoke sweaty and cranky. Luckily, we were at our breakfast spot, so they were able to get out and cool off while I docked the Wagoneer without needing to call in any tugboats, although it was a close call.
We got blocked in by a Mini Cooper, which meant we got to use every camera angle offered by the Wagoneer’s backup and surround systems. This is not your car if parking and maneuvering make you anxious. The Wagoneer takes up an entire parking space, line to line, and then hangs out the end.
It doesn’t actually drive as big as it parks. On our second day, we loaded up the kids, sister, my husband, and our neighbor’s teen and sailed the jumbo Jeep across the city. My motion-sickness-prone family didn’t make a single complaint. Everyone enjoyed plenty of room, and our picnic supplies – which could have comfortably transported a wagon train – fit with ease in the cargo space behind the third row. The Jeep’s turbo six-cylinder generated more than enough power to keep us in the carpool lane. While the estimated 16 mpg city and 23 mpg highway fuel economy for the all-wheel-drive model isn’t exceptional in the long run, it worked out perfectly for the weekend. Besides, the fuel tank is so large that we didn’t need to stop for gas.
Our destination was Santa Anita Park in Arcadia, California. Having been a horse-racing track since the 1930s, Santa Anita still hosts thoroughbred races. However, we were there to see a different kind of animal athlete. Santa Anita holds the official corgi races where hundreds of the fluffiest butts sprint at full speed on the infield. Since corgis are my niece’s favorite breed of dog, there was no way she was going to miss the event—hence the family flight down from Northern California and the VIP transport.
We prepared for the races the evening before by hand-drawing 14 copies of Corgi Bingo, with squares including sightings like “Corgi in a hat” and “Pet a Corgi.” We also packed blankets, coolers, and the previously-mentioned overabundance of snacks.
We managed to snag a close, and thankfully large, parking spot, set up our blankets, and spent the day enthusiastically cheering for corgis, petting corgis, asking them their names, and sharing and filling out our bingo sheets. After a thorough check of all children to prevent the smuggling of any corgi puppies, we loaded back up and headed home. Once again, the Wagoneer was a winner, this time due to its dual phone connectivity which allowed my neighbor’s kid to play her music—which then triggered a backseat argument with my nephew over who is overrated, Kendrick Lamar or Billie Eilish—while I still maintained navigation use on my phone.
At $86,955 (as tested), the Wagoneer has a price tag that matches its expansive interior. However, the kids declared it a definite winner for its back-seat comfort, impressive technology, and “per seat” value. “It seats seven, right?” the neighbor’s kid asked. “So that’s only $12,000 per seat. That dumb Porsche you had [ahem, the Spyder RS] only sat two, and that cost $210,000.”
Well, with that logic, the Wagoneer is a steal, and it certainly has the capacity to fit a lot of corgis.
